2006 Justin Begins Feeling Not Quite Himself

By | December 6, 2018

Feelings of being “off” started slowly enough – almost so slow that I didn’t even realize it. My freshman year of high school was eventful with no major events to speak of, aside from my first “real” kiss. However, around the start of sophomore year, I noticed that things just weren’t the same.

Nothing seemed to bring me joy anymore and I always managed to find the negative in every situation. Activities that I once enjoyed doing resulted in an overwhelming “meh” from me. Without being too overwrought, tastes lacked flavor, sounds were duller, and colors just weren’t as bright… and that has nothing to the fact that I had recently been confirmed as having color blindness.

I realized I was increasingly feeling sad and hopeless all the time. I couldn’t figure out why this was happening, but I felt too ashamed to open up, since I had a pretty good life. However, there was a lot of pain inside that I just didn’t know how to manage.

I kept these feelings in and put on what I thought was a brave face. I didn’t want to admit that something was wrong; that I was unhappy; that I was constantly miserable. Again, shame played a big part in this. I had a great life – I had no right to be happy. I decided to just try to grin and bear it as long as I could.

Are you a first-time contributor to The Good Men Project? Submit here:

submit to Good Men Project

◊♦◊

If you believe in the work we are doing here at The Good Men Project, please join us as a Premium Member, today.

All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.

A $ 50 annual membership gives you an all-access pass. You can be a part of every call, group, class, and community.
A $ 25 annual membership gives you access to one class, one Social Interest group, and our online communities.
A $ 12 annual membership gives you access to our Friday calls with the publisher, our online community.

Register New Account

Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.


photo credit – pixabay

The Good Men Project